Friday, January 23, 2009

Clocks

**Originally posted as a note on Facebook, January 9, 2009. This will explain the reference of the song Clocks in my "Today Was Tough" post that follows this post.**

My dad passed away on December 31, 2008 after a 9 month struggle with his failing heart. Before he passed, on a trip to Denton to visit my brother, sis-in-law, Mr. D, and I, we downloaded music and burned CDs for him. He had a list of songs he had picked for different family members and close friends. At the time I did not know what the list was, I just thought he wanted to make some CDs of his favorite music. He would never let me see the list, and it wasn't until I went into his room after he passed away that I saw it placed on his bed. My dad picked the Coldplay song Clocks for me. He made sure to tell a close friend why he picked that song for me. He said that there was a time and a place for everything and that is the message he wanted to leave me with. As I read over the lyrics to this song, it all makes sense to me now. As you read the first four lines of the song, it describes the last 9 months of my dads life. He died at the young age of 50, but he fought his way through this last year and had some really good times and a different outlook on life in general. He knows that I didn't want to see him go, but it was his time and his place in life to leave us now. Almost every night for the last 9 days, I have asked to feel his presence in my life in some shape, form, or fashion. Whether it be me hearing him talking to me, dreams, whatever, I just wanted to feel that he is with me. I know that sometimes these things never happen for some people, and for others it takes time, but my daddy called me last night in my sleep. I dreamed of him last night! My cell phone rang and it said Dad mobile calling and after I answered, I heard his voice on the other side clear, and plain as day. It was almost as he was talking to me face to face. He asked me what I was up to and I told him, then I asked how he was feeling and he told me that he felt good. Then he told me that he would talk to me later and I told him that I loved him. I woke up as soon as the phone hung up. All day I have felt this excitement inside that I haven't felt in a while. I feel at peace because I honestly believe that my dad was letting me know that he is truly okay and feeling fine. I can only pray that he will come back to talk to me some more and that he will be sure to visit and watch over all of us. I miss my daddy terribly, and I love him more every day.

I love you daddy,
Favorite Daughter
KP


Coldplay - Clocks

The lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have brought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead singing

Come out of things unsaid
Shoot an apple off my head and a
Trouble that cant be named
A tiger's waiting to be tamed singing

You are
You are

Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know singing

Come out upon my seas,
Cursed missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease, singing

You are, you are, you are
You are, you are, you are

And nothing else compares
And nothing else compares
And nothing else compares

You are
You are

Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go

Father - Daughter dance at my wedding reception on Friday, February 23, 2007
Song: A String of Pearls by Glenn Miller

My brother, his wife, and my Dad
photo taken Sunday, October 12, 2008 at my brother's new house while it was still being built.

Me and Dad at my brother's new house. It was a very bright, windy day.

My Dad and Brother at the Texas vs. OU football game this year. Dad said he had the time of his life and that it was so awesome!

One of the last pictures I took of my dad. It was taken in November 2008. We had a really good time just me and him that day. :)

I L-O-V-E Love You all the T-I-M-E Time

3 comments:

Mrs. Stilettos said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. Please know that although we have never met I am just an email away! That is what blog friends are for!

AnneNguyen said...

awww im so sorry =( im sure he's up there in heaven watching out for you. ♥

PoisonIvy068 said...

im so sorry for your loss...but that is a sweet thing your dad did before he passed..my thoughts are with you and your family.

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